


Real-Life Prince Charming

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Disney References, Every tag includes like FIVE other ships I'm so confused, Hey ya'll? Literally WHY is tagging so difficult, I honestly have no idea how sanders sides tagging works, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like and obscene number, M/M, Roman is sort of mean at first, anyway, too many metaphores, tw suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Unfortunately, the joy on Virgil’s face is as brief as it is genuine, and pretty soon he’s slinking back to his own room, taking half the kitchen with him. Patton goes back to cooking dinner and humming, Logan returns to his book (something boring, probably about math or something equally dreadful), and Roman shakes himself out of it. This is Virgil, after all. Foiler of plans, antagonist to Roman’s protagonist. That’s what they were - enemies, or something like that. Opposites, at the very least. If they weren’t Prince Phillip and Maleficent, they were the Red Fairy and the Blue Fairy."Or -  Roman has an identity crisis for four pages
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Prinxiety, Roman/Virgil
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	Real-Life Prince Charming

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Oh I wanna write something about Virgil's smile and how he doesn't do it often enough!
> 
> My Brain: No, angst.
> 
> Me: Yes sir, right away sir, sorry

The first time Virgil smiles - like, _really_ smiles - he does it because Patton cracked a genuinely good pun. Of course, Patton beamed at the reaction and followed it up with an even better one. _That_ actually gets Virgil to _laugh_. He slapped a hand over his mouth right after, clearly embarrassed, but Patton was grinning and Logan was groaning at the wordplay (and would continue to do so for the next three minutes), and… well, it’s hard to stay grumpy with all that. Even for Virgil. 

Oh, and Roman? Well - he wasn't doing much of anything. His brain sort of shut off the moment Virgil cracked a smile that _wasn’t_ sardonic or self-deprecating. The spotlight’s on but nobody’s singing. The laugh didn't help much - his mind had gone from an empty stage to empty _theatre,_ at that point. All he could do was watch. Watch, and stay quiet, because if he talked he'd either shower Virgil in compliments - and how embarrassing would _that_ be - or shoot out some spikey barb. Neither seemed quite right. 

Unfortunately, the joy on Virgil’s face was as brief as it was genuine, and pretty soon he was slinking back to his room, taking half the kitchen with him. Patton went back to cooking dinner, Logan returned to his book (something boring, probably about _math_ or something equally dreadful), and Roman shook himself out of it. This was Virgil, after all. Foiler of plans, _an_ tagonist to Roman’s _pro_ tagonist. That’s what they were - enemies, or something like that. Opposites, at the very least. If they weren’t Prince Phillip and Maleficent, they were the Red Fairy and the Blue Fairy. 

Right. 

* * *

Virgil didn’t _do_ a lot of smiling, after that. Even the sarcastic, cruel ones disappeared, fading away like nothing at all until he’s left a scowling mess. If he’s wasn’t frowning or glowering, he was staring into space. He’d never really spent time in the common area before , but now he didn’t even come out for food. And, sides don’t need to eat, of course, but it _feels better_ when you do. Fuels you, makes you stronger and allows you to perform your duties better. By that logic, wouldn’t it be better for the others if Virgil didn’t eat? That’s what Roman told himself. It leaves you feeling sort of empty and drained, _sure_ , but…

It was fine.

Roman didn’t care one way or the other, truly. Him, Logan, and Patton had been quite alright _before_ Virgil dragged himself into the Light Side, and him ghosting them was nothing too abnormal. 

Patton worried, of course. And, in hindsight, if Patton worries about someone’s emotional condition, _you_ probably should, too. He _is_ Morality, after all - he can _sense_ things like that. Literally. But Roman brushed him off and Logan couldn’t give a shit about some near-stranger’s _emotions -_ he could barely give a shit about his _own_ , let alone his friends’ - and so Patton dropped the issue. Mostly. Roman told him he should. And maybe that was a little callous of him - cold, even. But Virgil and him were supposed to be enemies and he couldn’t keep that up if Patton was trying to get him to _worry_ about his nemesis. Did _Aladdin_ worry about Jafar? Did Flynn Rider worry about Mother Gothel? Did Prince Florian worry about the Evil Queen? 

...And did any of those villains worry about the heroes? No.

So, Roman didn’t worry. Didn’t _let_ himself worry. Virgil was a big boy - if he wanted to have a pity parade in his room, who was Roman to stop him? He didn’t care. He _didn’t_ . And, for a while, that started to be true. They still saw Virgil for videos - he was _fine_ . And they’d know if he was in trouble because Thomas would be sans anxiety (which would probably be a _good_ thing, if it ever happened, but Roman didn’t share _that_ hot take).

And then Thomas _was_ sans anxiety. And then they learned Virgil tried to kill himself, and suddenly, Roman _did_ worry. 

* * *

Okay - so they didn’t _call_ it suicide. Sides can’t technically die - at least, not permanently - so to say he tried to “kill” himself wouldn’t be “totally accurate” (Logan’s words, not Roman’s). But the fact remained that he tried to “duck out”. And that meant going to the Subconscious. 

Roman didn’t know much about That Place when everything happened - still doesn’t, not really - none of the Light Sides do. The Dark Sides know more, of course - according to Virgil, their domain sort of exists in a space between the Conscious and the Subconscious. That explains, then, how Virgil knew how to get there. He doesn’t talk much about it, now, and he _refused_ to say anything back then, but he’s let a few things slip. Like how it’s sort of just falling asleep, “but worse”. And how there’s nothing there, and how _you’re_ nothing there.

See, that’s what happens if you go. Your physical manifestation disappears, and you just become nothing. You return to whatever primal instinct you started as - an urge, not a voice. And the thought of Virgil _wanting_ to do that to himself, being so desperate that he was willing to throw every part of himself away… He says he regrets it, now, going there. Logan always reminds him that if he hadn’t, he may have never opened up about everything that was bothering him. They never would have seen just how upset he was. Roman envies that. That Logan can look at it so cooly. It was hard for all of them, at the time, but Logan has a talent for separating his emotions from what he’s doing. He’s so _cool_ . Roman’s thoughts are always entwined with his feelings. Patton and him are both guilty in that regard - every word, every action, wrapped up in _emotion_ . Roman can’t look back at that day and say “well, here’s the bright side,”. He can only think _how much of that was my fault? How much of it was what I said? How much how much how much-_

Princesses don’t feel guilty when their evil stepmothers die. When the Prince vanquishes the sorcerer, he doesn’t regret it, doesn’t wonder if he went _too far_ . That’s just their _dynamic_ . And that’s Virgil and Roman’s dynamic, too. It _has_ to be, at this point, because if that isn’t what they’re supposed to be, then everything before was villainy on _both_ ends. And he’s trying to get into a different mindset about all this, he is, because Virgil almost _disappeared_ and clearly it isn’t black and white, good and evil, but that’s been how it is for the last three years and every day before that.

* * *

Roman said something mean. Just a small barb - something sharp, and impressively quick-witted, if he does say so himself - but it was maybe just a might _too_ sharp. And it cut deeper than he meant it to, and seriously, why’d he go back to picking on Virgil, Logan enjoys verbal sparring more, takes it less _personally-_

And anyway, now he’s here. In the Imagination, sitting on the edge of a cliff and watching the fake sunset like some angsty teen heartthrob. There are footsteps behind him, approaching slowly, and he thinks it’s Patton because Logan isn’t one for comforting and Virgil… well, yeah.

Of course, Virgil _is_ the one who sits down next to him, legs folded twice over in a frankly disturbing show of disregard for how human bodies should bend. Roman can practically hear the _“I can’t worry about what is, and is not, a chair”_ speech in his head, and he wonders if that nonchalance extends to what is, and is not, a normal sitting position. He doesn’t say anything, though, because he was _just_ a dick and being even more of a dick isn’t a great strategy. 

“Hey,” Virgil says. _You should probably respond_ , Roman’s mind tells him helpfully. That usefulness stops short when it refuses to cough up anything to actually respond _with_ . “So, uh, can we talk for a second?” Virgil asks, clearly nervous about receiving no welcome. _Coward_ , Roman’s brain hisses at him. 

“Virgil!” He says too loudly, pretending that he's not giving this happy greeting ten seconds too late. The Virgil in question jumps back in surprise, clearly surprised. His gaze quickly turns into something more _offended_ than anything, and he straightens. “Yes, let’s - we _should_ talk.” 

“Okay,” Virgil mutters, suddenly Mr. Reluctant. “Yeah, okay, so. Um. I don’t really care about what happened earlier.” He grits out. It’s halting and quiet, but the relief it brings Roman is almost palpable. Before he can reply, though, Virgil is already talking. “But like - it’s not great, y’ know? And like, I just want to know _why_ you’re still doing this.” 

Roman swallows. 

“I - _well_ . It’s just our _thing_ , you know? You gripe about something, I give my trademark zinger, we exchange witty banter…. The kids love it!” 

“I don’t,” Virgil grumbles. “I’m fine with teasing, alright? That’s whatever. But that doesn’t feel like what it is.” He sighs, clearly somewhat impatient with trying to explain. Roman - he gets it. This conversation is uncomfortable and really, he’d rather flee and have an angsty pity party somewhere else. “Logan and Patton - _that’s_ banter. This is more… not that. And I don’t _get_ it-”

“It’s just the dynamic, Virgil!” Roman snaps. Virgil falls quiet immediately. “It’s - that’s just what it is! You’re, you know, the Hades to my Hercules, or the Scar to my Simba. We’ve been cast in our rolls and we’ve memorized our scripts, and we’re _years deep_ into the production and at this point, it’s too late to turn around and demand a new character!” Roman ends with a huff. They’re both silent for a few moments. Virgil clears his throat.

“I don’t want to be,” Virgil says simply.

“I - what?”

“I don’t want to be a - a new character, or whatever. I’m the spooky, kind of mean one, and I’m gonna keep poking holes in every move Thomas makes.” He says quietly. “That’s literally what I am. I can’t _help_ it. And I don’t want to change because if I don’t see the danger in everything, who will? But… I mean, just because I have my role down doesn’t mean I have to be the Generic Disney Villain to your Generic Disney Hero.” He bites his lip, thinking. “Maybe don’t think about it like Prince Phillip and Maleficent. Think of it like… Moana, or something. Moana and Te Kā.”

“She isn’t an _actual villain_ , she just plays that part for the first half of the movie.” Roman corrects. And then, because he’s an idiot and it takes Virgil staring at him blankly to understand a rather simple metaphor, he lets out a long _“Oh.”_

“Yeah, man,” Virgil says. “I might do shitty stuff, but I'm not _evil_ \- you know that.”

“You just want your heart,” Roman says softly. Virgil grimaces. 

"What? No. Stop being cheesy." He gripes. "I want Thomas' safety." A pause. "And for you to like, stop acting like I'm about to throw a cloak over my shoulders and curse some princess."

"No promises," Roman says, chuckling, and Virgil smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> YIKES. I just came back and edited this for clarity's sake. I can distinctly remember reading over this like twice - how did all those weird errors fly under the radar?? Whatever.


End file.
